drEAming, random thoughts

Who am I when no one’s looking?…

Who am IHave you been following the recent posts on An Exacting Life and reading about Dar’s new job and how she was tempted to reboot herself and start her new job as a totally different person.  This led me to thinking and wondering if my public and private persona are truly one and the same. 

I feel that I am no different a person behind closed doors other than I might talk to myself in private…a lot, but what of my ‘blogging face’?  It struck me that I could be anyone on my blog – I could be the person I have always wanted to be, or even strive to be, but I expect that I could not keep the pretense up for long, after all I cannot keep myself organised or stay at my target weight for long or even post with any reasonable regularity on my blog so pretending to be someone I am not would probably fail miserably.

Also I think I have an inbuilt set of rules and habits that I live by – honesty being one of them.  As I wasn’t born with a set of rules or habits I began to look back to where and when they might have originated in my life.   I often find myself quoting old sayings and proverbs that I tend to believe in and have adopted into my life like ‘what goes around comes around’.  Other codes and rules I have formed from a life time of experiences.

You will all be familiar with the best-selling books entitled The Rules of Work, The Rules of Life and the Rules of Money now let me present, in no particular order, the Rules a la Where the Journey Takes Me.  I wonder which you might identify with.

  • Treat everyone with respect no matter what race, creed or colour – This I have learned over time and I always try to treat everyone as I would wish to be treated and even though I score high as Judgmental on the Briggs Myer Personality identifier I do try not to judge anyone, rather appreciate their own unique qualities.
  • To be good at something and successful requires hard work and practice so sometimes life will be difficult – this rule I have learned the hard way and have many times given up on something because I don’t see results immediately – Brownies was one, playing the Guitar another.  Perhaps I will go back to these one day (well maybe not Brownies!)
  • Never have regrets they make you miserable – For much of my life I had some big regrets; things I had not done and should have and things I had done and shouldn’t have.  I realised I was wasting a lot of valuable time and life regretting and so woke up one day and decided to either put things right or let it go and move on.
  • Waste not want not – I feel ill if I have to go to the landfill and can’t bear to look at all that stuff being thrown away. For me having to throw something away is a sign that I have failed in my efforts to reduce our waste.
  • Plan your day as if it is your last – tell everyone that matters that you love them before it is too late – In 2008 I had a bit of a brush with cancer and it was quite scary.  As you may know one of my best and oldest friends had cancer too but she was not as lucky and didn’t make it.   It does make you think about life in a different way and at the end of each day now I need to feel content that if it were my last – it was a good day.
  • Take your time – Rome wasn’t built in a day – I admit I am a plodder and nothing happens fast in our house but I believe that it is the journey that is important and the end results are always worth the wait.
  • Always be prepared – I read somewhere the other day that the Queen always travels with a special ’emergency’ bag and that made me feel so much better about mine.  We call ours the Black bag (because it is) and we never go anywhere of any distance without it in the car.  Our last words before leaving the house will always be “have you got the Black bag”  It contains everything from a knife, fork and spoon to a First Aid Kit, a spare pair of socks to sunglasses and it remains ready to go and on standby at all times.  I never have to think about needing anything for the journey as we have it all in the Black bag.
  • Never presume  – I think some of you may know what I mean with this one – presuming someone will do something can leave you a bit disappointed when you find they don’t or haven’t.
  • Random acts of kindness and a smile cost nothing – I love it when people smile and acknowledge me if I am being served in a shop or hold a door open it makes all the difference to my day – so I try to make sure I do this often.
  • Live by your own standards – if I ever have the misfortune to encounter someone who is rather abrupt or unpleasant towards me I always try to be polite and courteous back rather than react in the same way.  Why would I want to be like them.
  • Get out of your comfort zone occasionally – you might like what you see / do.  It is so easy to stay with what you know but if I think back to all the things I have done from being a child I can see now what I would have missed if I had chosen safe and not pushed myself.
  • Honesty is the best policy – I have certainly learned this one over time, it is now my number one rule and it works for me.
  • If a jobs worth doing it’s worth doing well – I am one of those people  – a perfectionist and it is even hard to live with myself sometimes.  I thrive on the sense of accomplishment and a job well done.  I think it must have something to do with the pride I felt at winning first and second prize for my two entries into a ‘Flower Heads in Water’ competition at the local Flower Show aged 6!!
  • When the going gets tough keep your sense of humour – this is a must and I learned it from a very special person – my dad.
  • You are what you eat – this is purely from my own experience but I like an active part in preserving my health.  I would always look to my diet first and doctor second.
  • A place for everything and everything in its place – a very old saying but one that works particularly well.  Of course these days we tend to have more things and fewer places!

I am sure if I sat and thought about this for longer there would be many more rules and codes of conduct that I live by and I expect many of them I live by quite unconsciously.   These are just a few that have come to mind and to change my personality and way of doing things and present a different public or private persona I think I would first of all have to get a whole new set of rules.



7 thoughts on “Who am I when no one’s looking?…”

  1. I think it’s so great that you can articulate all this. I like to think I am the same way, in that I have a set a values that I hardly need to think about, but are always there. Over time I’ve become more consistent because of the “live and learn” factor – I have learned that inconsistency usually doesn’t pay off! From your list, one thing I would say is, “You’ll have regrets, but you eventually have to move past them.” You can learn from them only so much, and have to move on. Interestingly, I don’t think I’m the same person everywhere I go – I have been a manager at work for many years and there is a certain decorum about it – I have to play a role (professionally at least) with employees, and when I’m not at work, there are no such distinctions!


    1. It was your article that set me thinking as I am toying with the idea of moving on at work and perhaps for pastures new and the thought of being someone else was quite interesting – but I am not sure I could pull it off even if I desired the change of personality! Now you have set me off thinking again – am I the same person everywhere I go?…well watch this space and I might answer that one too soon.


  2. A thought provoking post. I believe I give a true representation of myself on my blog although I am more restrained and careful with what I say than maybe I would be in ‘real’ life. I feel bound by rules and regulations and yet tend to rebel against them! The only ‘rules’ I think I have is be yourself, treat others as you would like to be treated, have compassion, live life with purpose. x


    1. Hi Simone – I agree with your 3 rules, however sometimes I do wonder what my purpose is! You always come across very sincerely on your blog but I know what you mean about being careful with what you say on your blog. When there is no voice or expression with the printed word it can come across different to how you intended.
      It is a gorgeous day today so have a lovely weekend. x


  3. I love the idea of this: what is your face?

    Because of my job I have to hide my true emotions,thoughts and opinions every day. And people expect me to behave, act, think and speak in a certain way. And when/if I do say something as me – the humorous, able to see many sides of a story, take-my-job-but-not-myself seriously me – I have people questioning, upset, complaining. So to my friends who take me as me and not “but you’re an X” I have my me face. And this is the face on the blog. To people who know me since I have taken my job but cannot separate the me from the position, or really their expectations of people in that position, I maintain a different face.


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