Not the biscuit kind either… this is how I feel – not total melt down (though at this rate that might not be far away) just a gradual feeling that although I have only been back at work 3 days (4 if you include last Thursday) control and organisation are slipping away from me like something that was once quite solid suddenly beginning to melt into a runny liquid stream flowing out of my grasp.
I am slowly being pulled back into that chaos place – you know the one – where everywhere you turn you see something that needs doing and generally it is in a pile!
So exactly what is the problem?
I have an ironing pile building up and I also know I need to go and sort a load of washing and put this in the machine. The mail that we have had during the week needs attending to as do the finances. My purse is full of receipts from days ago and I remember agreeing with myself that I would empty my purse everyday and input the receipts into my Money Programme on the computer straight away. Needless to say this hasn’t happened and along with not making the bed this morning or washing the dishes I feel a bit of a failure. All I have managed to do is get myself to work on time with a packed lunch.
There is also that thing called the ‘knock on effect’ where something happens and this affects the next thing. So for instance on Monday after work I only got half my shopping done and I ran out of time. So I decided I would do the other end of town on the Tuesday night. On Tuesday I forgot to take my new shoes with me to work. I was going to search around town for some kind of decoration to add to the front of them and change them into something a little more glam for the wedding. So the shopping didn’t happen and I came straight home thinking I would have time tonight and I would have normally but something urgent came up at work and I didn’t leave until 4.45 pm giving me exactly 45 minutes to shop before they closed and so wasn’t very productive. I am now thinking I might have to go back to town on Friday morning before I finish packing for the wedding because I have an appointment for a massage after work on Thursday!
It seems that realistically Monday to Thursday I can’t do much other than get ready for work, go to work and come home from work, cook the tea and then flop. I need to have a revised plan that is based on me doing more of what I need to do on the remaining 3 days – Friday, Saturday and Sunday and do the bare minimum from Monday to Thursday. If I make the effort to keep putting away after I have used something, throwing the junk mail straight into the bin after picking it up from the hallway floor and wash those dishes at least the house shouldn’t need a lot of pulling round on Friday morning.
Maybe everything feels worse this week because it is my first week back at work and it does take time to settle in again after being away for so long and in addition there is the wedding on Saturday which I am preparing for.
Tonight I will cosy down on the settee and watch the Apprentice – always makes me feel a lot better.